Canada Annex the U.S.?

President Donald Trump wants to annex Canada, arguing the United States’ northern neighbor would benefit with more border and military security, and lower taxes.

Predictably, Canadians are not thrilled with the idea. They like their country, thank you very much.

Annexing Canada is not a new idea. In fact, it goes back to the American Revolution when American forces invaded in the belief that Canadians wanted to end British rule just as much as Americans did.

They didn’t.

But that didn’t stop some Americans from still dreaming of annexing that country.

And nothing has happened to interest Canadians in joining the United States, its ten provinces becoming the 51st state. Perhaps if Trump offered each province to come in as a separate state the Canadians would be more interested? I doubt it, but with Trump you never know.

If Trump is really interested in the two countries becoming one, a more agreeable solution for the Canadians would be for Canada to annex the United States. The 50 states would become provinces, thus giving Canada 60 provinces.

With more than 330 million Americans joining Canada’s more than 41 million, we would have a massive country, admittedly a good portion of it not really inviting because it is so far north. But a massive country nonetheless. The new Canada would have an even longer coastline than it does today as that country already boasts the longest one in the world. And winter cross country skiing would be great.

We wouldn’t have to worry about tariffs for autos, lumber, energy, etc.., etc. And we could end the miniscule amount of fentanyl that is now crossing the Canadian border into the U.S. And all those Canadians and Americans who live along the border, especially those whose towns are bisected by it, would no longer have to worry about customs or import taxes. Trump likes cutting taxes, right?

We would all be one big happy family of Canadians. That should especially appeal to Americans who are unhappy with how nasty politics have become. Canadians are known for being polite. If we all became Canadians we would obviously have to be polite.

Now I know some people will say, we have a Constitution that would stand in the way of the U.S. becoming Canadian. I don’t see why it should. Afterall, Trump is intent on dismantling that document right now. So what would be the issue with just throwing it away altogether?

Of course, we would have representatives in the Canadian Parliament. (Would the capital stay in Ottawa? If it does, the White House and Capital could become museums. And for the geographically challenged, Ottawa is in southeast Ontario on the border with Quebec.) I assume the Parliament would be expanded. But by how much? That’s a detail that can easily be worked out.

And we could have the British monarchy as our technical head of state, which should please all those Americans infatuated with it.

If we want to preserve some remnant of “the United States of America” the expanded country could become “the United Provinces of Canada.” That would be U.P. for short, with apologies to the Upper Peninsula of Michigan which is often called the U.P. I guess it would have to come up with a new nickname.

One hurdle would be that Quebec is French speaking, for the most part. That could proved to be a problem for those who want to make English the official language of the United States. Of course, the United States would no longer exist, so perhaps it wouldn’t be a problem after all.

The biggest hurdle would be the fact that real power would reside in a prime minister chosen by the cabinet. And that prime minister could be forced out of office anytime by a vote of no-confidence by the majority.

That’s not a good look for a wannabe autocrat.

I guess Trump won’t go for that idea after all.

I wonder if the Canadians would be interested?

How about renaming the Gulf of Mexico or the Gulf of America, depending on your point of view, as the Gulf of Canada? Would that draw them in? But then we’d be polite Canadians, so we would probably leave it as the Gulf of Mexico. We wouldn’t want to offend our southern neighbors, now would we?